Alright Ramblers, Let's Get Rambling (Rant Post, Hello 2024!)

 This isn't anything like my usual posts on here. But, seeing as I haven't posted anything in almost a year, I feel as if I have an opportunity to live up to this blog's name. So, what's on my mind?

I'm a really big fan of war games. More than that, I've always been a fan of the simulation aspect of war games. There's something about an attention to detail, not just in terms of mechanics but in the literal attention that is required from the player, that intrigues me. Sadly, like plenty other interests, I suffer from a severe lack of experience in the medium. I also suffer from a lack of skill. They're related, but not like you think.

A big issue of mine is "putting your money where your mouth is". Although I will spill buckets from my mouth about a given topic, or how much I enjoy thinking about that topic, or what I'd like to do within that medium, rarely do I actually live up to this standard. It's not a standard at all, really—simply describing who I am or would want to be—but it's nonetheless frustrating. Want to role-play as a particular character in an RPG? Good luck getting me to maintain the illusion for very long. How about sticking to a rule set or immersing yourself into a book / game / other medium? Better outcomes, in bursts, while suffering the same degradation in the long-term. Maybe you should write an adventure, or run a campaign, or start writing in a routine again! Doesn't that sound great?

...Yeah, about that...

My point is that it upsets me. I could spend centuries trying to rationalize why it happens or where it comes from (my ADHD diagnosis last year notwithstanding), but ultimately I don't think that matters. Who cares where it comes from? I've had to deal with this sort of thing since childhood, medication hasn't magically fixed the problem, and I've obviously not uncovered a good coping mechanism for it.

Yet in spite of these very real feelings, I continue to play war games. I still play RTS games, I still get upset at simulators, and still do I daydream about the various scenarios that I could craft, re-enact, or run for others. For myself as well, of course, but this feels like it falls into a bucket similar to writing: I have so many ideas, and so much more that I'd like to do with them.

Why do I bring any of this up? For one, because I can, but also because I've spent much of my waking time this year trying to not do nothing and still failing. I could go back several years and argue the same, but screw that noise. I bring this up because there's only one good reason.

I Want Control Change

Mucho Texto, enjoy some compensation
Art by Fishiibo

Now ain't that something we've all heard before? 

Change is a complicated topic. It isn't instantaneous, by which I mean that change is a gradual process, rather than an immediate shift in being, but it seems anytime I see change referred to it's spoken of as if it were immediate. Whether in fiction or non-fiction, I often find change described as both a catalyst and as the sum of its parts. What I mean by that is the "spark", the "moment of change", is always given the honor of being 'the moment things changed.' That past tense is very important to me. Why? Because it wasn't the moment of realization that made things different—it was the aftermath. 

I realize that this is ridiculous, unnecessarily pedantic, and even plain stupid, but hear me out for a second. "Change" as we often describe it, on an individual level, is nothing more than an idea. It is a thought, a light bulb, an 'aha!' which informs our actions. But it isn't the idea that actually changes things, is it? Outside of fiction, where a character's written thoughts directly affect their next move—you would drown if you took a shot for every work whose protagonist suddenly refused to defeat their villain in the final battle—'what we think' can hardly be rephrased as 'what we do'. Because that would be ridiculous, no? If judgements were carried out based on people's thoughts rather than their deeds, not on action but on word, mental word, wouldn't we be in a whole heap of shit? That means it isn't our thoughts that change the world, but our actions. I can think of all sorts of philanthropic shit to do, but if I never actually do any of it, I might as well have never brought it up.

Maybe I'm just nitpicking. I could be making a mountain out of a mole hill, one that only I care about, but what speaks to me is how appropriate it is. I have spent years now trying to formulate a schedule for myself, desperately trying to design and then follow a routine which works for me. I have tried planners, timers, and reward systems. I have tried setting breaks, crafting personalized deadlines, and daily goals. I have tried damn-well everything to what seems like zero effect...

...and yet I've changed, haven't I? In many ways I'm still the same, yes; I still hold many of the same struggles as years prior, but there are places where I have changed. There are differences in my thoughts and in my actions, things which may not have been intentional, but were nonetheless adopted in my struggle to achieve other goals. I never noticed these things they were a part of me.

Things change gradually, but is it always so secret?

I wonder what it feels like to be somebody else. In living their life, which decisions are easy or hard? What does it feel like to sit down and do something? To decide that there are things which must be done and tasks which must be met? What are their habits like? Are their routines always a conscious decision, a meticulously placed puzzle piece, or do they simply carry themselves to do it? Muscle memory is one thing, but what about the mind? Do they feel the draw to dissociate, to stare into space? Do they heed the call of the void?

I can ask these questions forever. I know because I have, in drafts far older than this one, which will probably never see the light of day. Part of why I would like to be different through posting this one is my desire to break this cycle. I want to put my money where my mouth is, I want to follow my own advice. Yet every time I try to crack down on these issue they sprout right back up, like dandelions. 

I know better than to desire "change". Change as an object, as a kind of particle, is useless. It's worse than useless, namely because change alone doesn't do anything. Change requires an intention. More than that, change requires a will behind it, because real change does not come from the idea, but rather the desire to make that idea a reality.

This might all be obvious. I am aware of that, but awareness alone isn't going to cut it.

Esprit de Corps 

I don't want things to be easier, I want it to be fair
Artist Unknown

In the tireless fight to get my shit together, one thing that I have become increasingly aware of is that I have basically zero support network when it comes to making art. I have friends, hell, I have artistic friends, not to mention being part of all manner of online creative communities... so it seems extra weird that I don't interact with any of them. I've tried to make a conscious effort to be involved in these sorts of things, y'know, engaging with other people's work and sharing your own, but for some reason it's always a goddamn struggle. Why is that? 

Maybe it's a lack of praise? I would think not, since I've argued before about the balancing act between making art for yourself and making art for others, but I also wouldn't put it past me. A lack of attention? Similar concept, but I do rarely feel the need to share stuff that I should want to share, and that definitely wasn't always the case.

I don't even TALK about what I might be working on.

I'm still trying to figure this one out. I'm trying to figure all of these out, honestly, but I like to assume the best of people. Solving these problems shouldn't include a blaming game.

Boulder Up A Hill

One must imagine Sisyphus happy. I sure do, because if he can make the most out of literal hell, then maybe I'm not too screwed. As I've mentioned in parts scattered throughout this post, I am not a very big fan of the endless two-way cycle. Either I try to stick to a routine, pushing myself and failing to establish a cycle of things I enjoy (or claim to enjoy) doing, or I don't. Choosing not to attempt a cycle leads to either figuring things out on a day-by-day basis, which I am objectively terrible at, or a worsening of my mental health. Why does my mental health worsen? Because I'm not trying to figure my shit out, of course!

Is there really a 'shit' to figure out, though? Arguably, yes, but it's certainly not some ten-step plan or yellow brick road. There is no one true path to success, and by no means do I have any delusions of grandeur about that, but that still means that I can try to develop a cycle which works for me. 

I haven't made much progress.

But that's why I am writing this! Sure, writing it has been largely a stream of consciousness over the course of four hours. Yeah, I desperately want to delete whole paragraphs in search of the perfect word, or I could delete everything and pretend like this article never existed. It doesn't affect anyone else that I do these things, only me, but it makes things difficult. irritatingly difficult. 

I could stare at this page for another four hours and find another dozen unrelated topics to ramble about. Would that be a good idea? I don't know, but maybe it would be therapeutic. I could also leave it until tomorrow, to which I say that that's a bad idea, since I know that I would delete this draft the moment I remember it exists.

I don't know if the person I wake up as is the same as the person who went to bed. I'd like to imagine it isn't, though, because that means that I actually have the capacity to change my mind about something. Even if I'm not aware of it, maybe one of these days a version of me will forget about one of their bad quirks, and a more desirable one will slither into its place. That requires that I still put in the work, though, both as this new person and who I am now. 

I think that I can do the right thing. For my sake, I have to believe it. 

In Unrelated News

Howdy! Like said, definitely an unorthodox post. Good chance you skipped this in its entirety, or you skipped to the end, to which I say that I don't blame you! Life is hard enough as it is without some internet stranger airing their dirty laundry in your face. If you did read to the end of this post though, hello there! Also, thank you. I appreciate your commitment. Was the reading any good?

More appropriate posts in the future! When? Hell if I know, because I'm writing this post all in one sitting! I know damn well that if I try to make up some deadline here it'll be ignored and/or I'll fail to meet it, so instead, I'm going to make a vague written promise. If I could make a pinky promise online—can I?—it would make this a tad extra serious.

 I'm still alive, still world-building, and most of all, I'm still dreaming! Let's hope that this post is a sign of clearer skies. Will it be? I have no idea, and I don't wish to jinx myself, but let us hope for the best.

Go Go Gadget, Post!

Return of The King (GLoG Class: Ring-Bearer)

The new LoTR set for Magic: The Gathering just came out, and—considering that the silly card game has had me in a chokehold for the last few months—it's no surprise that this whipped me into an inspiration frenzy.

Be your very own Sauron. Play a Frodo-type, and risk your personhood being stripped away. Maybe play this in a Modern setting, and have your little buddy be the bard who follows around Terry Crews in White Chicks. That's the fun of OSR: it promotes doing whatever you'd like!

Just have fun. Enjoy!

God, He's So Cool
Art by Anna Podedworna

THE RING-BEARER

+1 Attack per template

Starting Skill: 1) Metalsmithing 2) Disguise 3) Pyrokinesis 4) Battle-Planning

Starting Items: The Ring, Chain, A Newly-Forged tool (Medium, 1d8 damage), A Collection Of Old Things, Hate.

-----

A – One To Bind, Corruption

B –  +1 CD, +1 Temptation, Mouth of Awe

C – +1 CD, +1 Temptation, One To Rule

D – Subjugation

One To Bind

You have crafted The Ring: a lone object of incredible power, of which you are its true wielder. Only you gain benefits from wearing The Ring, and only so long as you have Ring-Bearer Templates; other creatures who wear The Ring vanish into The Ethereal Plane for 1d4 minutes.

The Ring is a part of you. It can never be destroyed except by being submerged in the fire of its creation, and you are always aware of its general location. You know if someone else possesses The Ring and can communicate with them telepathically from any distance.

Corruption

You have a pool of Corruption Dice, or CD. These work much like MD, returning to you on a 1-3 and expiring on a 4-6. Unlike normal magic, you cannot regain Corruption Dice by taking a rest, instead regain one Corruption Die whenever you kill a sapient creature with at least 1 HD. You can only have as many Corruption Dice as you have Ring-Bearer Templates.

You can use your CD to power a Temptation of your choice, or expend it as a reaction to reduce the damage of a non-magical attack targeting you by [templates] + [sum]. Should you ever remove The Ring from your person, you temporarily lose access to your Temptations until it is returned to you.

Mouth to Awe

You have acquired the skills of a talented retainer—an orator and skald—who wishes only for glory in your name. With your permission, this skald will travel from place to place, using any acquired or gifted wealth to recruit hirelings, request lodgings, and otherwise support your journey (and are undoubtedly qualified for the task). They are otherwise a loyal, helpful assistant, and speak goodwill to your name on any occasion.

The Movie Version Looks Cooler IMO, But He's Drippy Too
Art by Alex Brock for MTG

One To Rule

Great power flows through you and only grows stronger with time. You deal +1 damage with weapon attacks for each unexpended CD you possess. 

Subjugation

Your hunger has overgrown even yourself, and with such hunger comes a desire for more. By spending a week of downtime and sacrificing one of your CD you may construct a ring of power. A creature wearing one of these rings can communicate with you telepathically from any distance and gains a single CD, which they can use to cast a Temptation of your choice. 

So long as it is being worn, a creature wearing a ring of power counts as an unexpended CD for your One to Rule ability.

Once per month, per person, you may use the Dominate Temptation on a creature wearing a ring of power without expending CD. You do not need to see the target to use this ability, and can do so from any distance. The target cannot save.

Me And The Boys
Art by Anato Finnstark

Temptations

1. DOMINATE
• Command another to do your bidding. Bend the wills of man to consciously follow your words. Target follows [dice]-word order as per Command, but cannot directly harm themself. +1 target per CD expended. Targets can Save to resist.
  
  
2. MASQUERADE
• Appear to be who you are not. Look trustworthy from the outside. You gain the appearance of a non-existent person [sum] hours, including a different voice, but your clothing and equipment remain the same. 3+ CD transforms your equipment as well.
  
  
3. OBFUSCATE
• Become formless. Peek into the world beyond. You become invisible for [sum] minutes. With 1-2 CD, you can see wraiths, ghosts, and other things in The Ethereal Plane. 3+ CD allows you to interact and speak with them.
  
  
4. ANNIHILATE
• Return to dust. Per CD, one non-magical sword-sized object you can see within 30 feet of you disintegrates. With 2+ CD, destroy an additional object for each additional die. Alternatively, target creature takes [sum] damage thrice over three rounds, and you must concentrate on this effect. You cannot take other actions while using this effect.
  
  
5. MANIPULATE
• Shape the world. [CD*5]-foot square of unworked material shifts, bends or moves to your design. Fire warps, water separates, and the earth becomes a pit. If material would directly cause harm, strike deals [sum] damage. With 2+ CD, you can hold its new position for [sum] rounds, or until you lose concentration. With 3+ CD, cause machinery to act without their controls.
  
  
6. RECUPERATE
• Fill wounds. You regain [sum] hit points. With 3+ CD, you can survive an otherwise fatal spell or injury as a reaction, returning to 1 hit point. 

Mishaps

1. CD only return to your pool on a roll of 1-2 for 24 hrs.
2. You take 1d6 damage.
3. You lose 1d6 Stability.
4. You lose control and disappear into The Ethereal Plane for 10 minutes. Something notes your presence.
5. You cannot receive beneficial magic for 1d6 hrs.
6. The nearest NPC to you becomes aware of The Ring's power and begins to covet it.

Dooms

1. The Ring tests you. It disappears from your finger to a random location within a day's travel of your current location.
2. The Ring tempts you. You cannot remove The Ring for any reason, even through magic or threat of death, and constantly fear that others may take it from you. Should the ring ever be removed at this point, you would do anything to get it back.
3. The Ring consumes you. Your body becomes warped and wraith-like, and your heart becomes inconsolable. You cannot love, nor care and look to others with kindness, for all of your desires lie with The Ring. Should you die, or your form be separated from The Ring, your soul shall finally be corrupted and your physical form shaped into incoherence. Your only reason for existing shall be subjugation, destruction, and control. You are not yourself.

Eye Spy (GLoG Class: The Optithaum)

Shall We Punish The Baker For Leaving Out Their Bread?
Art by James Fenner

The first druids to escape reality quickly became lost in the manifold, unable to climb themselves out of  places of real chaos. In their vain attempts to maintain lucidity they came across a demi-plane, tucked deep within the walls of un-reality, and unveiled a thing known only as The Optithaum. It was a beacon of law in the roaring sea of quantum, a lighthouse in the dark, and so the druids scrambled to grasp any sign of safety amongst its lapis plateaus and opal towers. 

Planes are strange. In most cases, they seem to go on indefinitely; some more obvious in their trickery than others. But this place held no secrets. In fact, it became quite clear to the druids just how small this space truly was. These masters of the primeval found sanctuary in a place contrary to its surroundings. Water where there exists only fire. Once the panic left them all, terror set in.

As with all things beyond the material, there is no one truth to The Optithaum's existence. It may very well be a contraption devised by higher beings, or a living organism of peculiar shape, or perhaps simply the consequence of all possible combinations. 

Two of these truths lie uncontested: it knows of us, and it calls to us.

THE OPTITHAUM

+1 Initative per two templates

Starting Skill: 1) Optometry 2) Divination 3) Semiotics 4) Time-Keeping 5) Visual Calculus 6) ??

Starting Items: Needle Sword (1d8 Piercing), Obscure Eyewear, Leather.

-----

A – Anomaly, Occlusions

B – Gaze of the Gaps

C – Scripture

D – Mind Quantum, Spotlight

Anomaly

You make others uncomfortable around you, much to your own advantage. You gain a +1 to checks you make to weird people out, or to similar checks where such an outcome would be suitable (e.x. distracting a patron, scaring off a pair of goblins, counter-haggling for clean socks).

Occlusions

You look upon the world with a strange disgust, for you see things that others do not. Your vision fills with strange objects, dazzling lights, floating globs of vitreous, and other shadowy things. With time and effort, you have learned to embrace the power brought upon by these sigils by purposefully accepting them, receiving power from their originator. Whatever that may be.

Whenever you take an Optithaum template, you gain an Occlusion from the table below. For every two templates you take, gain an additional Occlusion.

Roll for 1d10 Occlusions

1. Diplopia. Now you see me,  now you...? +1 Defense & +1 Attack.
2. Floaters. Meet machine elves. See into the Astral Plane & meet potentially helpful contacts.
3. Shadows. Visual seeps within material. +2 Stealth.
4. Stars. Do you see what I see? You learn the Light spell & +1 MD.
5. Halos. Light illuminates light. +10' vision from light sources & notice incredibly dim/distant light.
6. Lightning. Do I see white or red? +1 Damage & +1 to combat maneuvers.
7. Phosphene. That's the secret, I'm always dazzled. Adv vs blindness. 
8. Snow. Fill the gaps. You learn the Illusion spell & +1 MD.
9. Field. Tunnel vision is good, actually. +2 Move.
10. Fog. Used to it. Ignore weather vision effects & +1 Save.

Gaze of The Gaps

When looking upon the world, your visual static fills holes in places uninteresting and benign, but curiously avoids occupied spaces. When you enter a room, you become aware of anything hiding within the environment (such as behind furniture or in the darkness of a corner) but do not immediately recognize their type. You also become aware of invisible creatures.

Scripture

You can spend some time appealing to the things in the shadow of your eyes (who is likely the cause of those killer migraines). You can ask at any time with a 2-in-6 chance of a 'response', but conditions improve if it is nighttime, you're in public, or you're high as balls (+1 for each). On a success, ask a single question, to which the figures will respond with cryptic shapes or visions, resembling anything from epileptic flashes to floater-shaped handwriting.

You may only attempt to acquire such knowledge once per day. For every consecutive image received, you gain a -1 penalty on your next attempt. This penalty is reduced by 1 for each consecutive day you don't attempt to receive.

Spotlight

Once per session, you can synchronize your vision with up to four other allied creatures. Until the end of the session, so long as a synchronized creature is within 15 feet of you and the check is physical in nature, they can reroll a single d20 of their choice (e.x. searching for hidden symbols, dodging a giant boulder, or attempting an attack). You also gain this benefit.

Mind Quantum

Whenever you would die, you can choose to survive instead. One of your eyes explodes, you are knocked unconscious, and your condition becomes stable. You cannot access your Occlusions without eyes, so the best avenue to not going completely blind may involve attempts to acquire a working replacement. Or maybe just more eyes.

 1d8 Obscure Eyewear

1. Thick silver goggles. Each lens is layered with dozens of scaling monocles. Think Spy Kids.
2. Strange octangular glasses. Project an uncomfortably close image of your eyes.
3. Glass visor with an opal mono lens. Glistens even without a light source.
4. Portruding pyramidal lenses. Sharp but fashionable. Somehow you see out of these.
5. Black, foggy eyewear. Smoke appears to be floating behind the lenses, obscuring your eyes.
6. Waterlogged goggles. Seemingly airtight. 
7. Wireframe design. Filled with intricately moving brass gears which do something.
8. Two square lenses are embedded in your face, just below the eyes. Stick out horizontally, others suffer from mild versions of your occlusions with prolonged contact.

Chaos In Completion (GLoG: Wizard Chassis)

Working Old-School, Bear With Me
Image From Tumblr

The more time that's passed with this blog, the more I've become enthralled in exploring the GLoG design space. This is all very new to me, and I'm not quite sure how it works, but I'm going to try anyhow. Maybe I'll make a GLoG Hack of my own!

This post is gonna suck, so don't take it super seriously. I'll make something actually original Soon.

Inspired, like everyone else, by The Legend Himself. Also, a shoutout to The Nothic's Eye for catching my attention so well that I wanted to rip them off.

THE CLASSICAL WIZARD

+1 Magic Dice per template (Including Deltas)

Starting Skill: 1) Runecrafting 2) Alchemy 3) Mathematics 4) Astronomy 5) Literary Studies 6) Divination

Starting Items: Per Wizard School, otherwise, Pointy Hat, Extravagant Clothing, Magic Wand or Staff or Orb, two pieces of Wizardly Ephemera (see table at post's end).
-----

A – Wizard School, Signature Appearance, Arcane Foci

B – Book O' Lore

C – Counterspell

D – Prepared For All

+

Δ - Apprentice

Δ - Familiar

Δ - Tower

Spellbook
You begin play with a Spellbook, which fills an Inventory Slot. It looks however you wish.

A Spellbook has enough space to hold 5 Spells (+1 per Template). While in possession of your Spellbook, you can spend an hour of grubwork to replace any number of spells you have memorized with those in your spellbook or vice versa. You can also copy spells found in scrolls directly to your Spellbook in this way.

If a Spellbook is lost, so are all the spells stored in it.
Replacing a Spellbook, or buying a new one, costs 50 Gold.
You can upgrade your Spellbook with embellishments, magical inks or pages, and additional spell space. 

Wizard School
A Wizard's Spell List, Perk, Drawback, Mishaps, and Dooms are all decided by their School.
Should hopefully work with any GLoG Wizard School.

Signature Appearance
You eat, sleep, speak and fuck like a Wizard. You also dress like one. Whether in flowing robes or a gown of glistening patterns, others will immediately identify you as a practitioner of the arcane. Consequently, you've learned to spot others much the same, allowing you to identify magic users and their tools with a gaze, even if others find it difficult to ascertain.

While not as important as your Arcane Foci, being caught outside your classic appearance would be embarrassing. It's also not very helpful, and MD are returned on a roll of 1 while improperly dressed. You keep a lot of important things in those pockets!

Also, just kidding about that first part. Wizards don't have sex.

Arcane Foci
Your arcane foci are the most important part of your wizardly repertoire because it's through them that you can cast your spells. Wizards can only be attuned to one at a time, but carrying a spare wand or staff with you never hurts, especially in a pinch. 

While attuned to your arcane foci, which takes the equivalent of an hour's rest, you gain +1 MD and a 1/day charge for a single spell you've learned.  You can expend the charge to cast that spell without using Magic Dice, instead using a number of free [dice] equal to your Wizard templates. If applicable, you take the average [sum] of those dice rounded up. You can change the applied spell when you reattune to an arcane focus.

Book O' Lore
Your Spellbook serves not only as storage for your spells, but also as a repository of information. Whenever you make a knowledge Skill check, you can burn 1 MD to subtract [sum] from the roll. 

Counterspell
You can lessen or undo the effects of a spell cast at you or your allies, by declaring you would like to Counterspell, then choosing a spell with an opposed effect - Wall of Water vs. Fireball, Alarm vs. Sleep, or Incite Anger vs. Charm Person, that sort of thing. 

If you have a Spell in your repertoire that is an effective Counterspell, then subtract your [dice]/[sum] from the [dice]/[sum] of the attacking Spell.

Prepared For All
You are always ready for the trials at hand. You can cast spells straight from your Spellbook, or from a Scroll without burning it. You declare this at the start of a given round, and cast it at the end of the round—it fizzles if you take any damage in that round.

Additionally, for the first round of combat, you cannot roll Mishaps or Dooms.

+

Δ - Apprentice
Spend up to a year training a commoner in the art of magic — then send them on a quest

Upon your Apprentice's return (2-in-6 with half year, 4-in-6 with full year), they become a level 1 Wizard with a template of your choice (preferably your own, spells rolled randomly). Your Apprentice may follow you on your quests, or be sent along their own journey, becoming a powerful Wizard in their own right.

So long as you have at least one living student (including the Apprentice of your Apprentice), your wizened body glows. You grow a magnificent beard of silvery hair, and choose two spells in your mind or Spellbook: whenever you cast these spells, you may choose to do so with +1 MD, for free.

Δ - Familiar
Convince an animal, small outsider, or other spirit creature to make a pact with you.

You become that familiar's patron — you can swap senses with them, grant it your spells and MD to cast from a distance, and communicate telepathically. If you give your familiar a Spell or MD, you don't have them until your familiar uses it.

Once a familiar has cast a given spell, it is lost until the next morning. MD expended are always burned. Your familiar may serve as a decent mount if large enough and willing.

Δ - Tower
Take possession of a comfortable defensive position. This could be a house, tower, or any other amenable locale. Then, stock it with 500 Gold Pieces worth of treasure and equipment.

You can now perform research in your private sanctum, and are reasonably protected from the elements and living dangers. You are always aware of creatures nearby or within your private sanctum, and can always find your way back no matter how lost you are.

you can also build a scrying room, crystal ball and all, which you can use to observe distant locales. (1 MD, 2 MD if you've never seen the location before).

Spellcasting
Spellcasting follows the MD rules.
You gain two Spells from your Spell List whenever you level up, representing research and grappling with the deeper mysteries of arcana.

If you roll a duplicate spell, move up or down the list until you get a spell you haven't got yet.

Roll the following Dice:
Level 1 – The first spell on your list, and roll 1d6 for the other.
Level 2 – 2d8
Level 3 – 2d10
Level 4 - Choose three spells from your list. 

Wizardly Ephemera (Once Again, Thanks Boss)
1. A Spare Hat, which is slightly less impressive than your primary one.

2. Monogrammed Handkerchief. Filthy, but classy.

3. Folding Sanctum, an overly classy name for a tent with lead-lined fabric. Keeps out most prying eyes.

4. A Handful of Planar Dirt. Gotta be useful for something, right? Choose or randomly determine the plane of origin.

5. Spellbook Case, which keeps it nice and dry in inclement conditions.

6. Calligraphy Set. For inscribing scrolls and sending letters.

7. Tarot Cards, featuring such standouts as The Lady, The City, The Spire and The Wheel. Can be used for minor divinations - roll 1d6. The closer to one the result, the worse the cards think it’ll go.

8. Telescoping Tea Set. Fills a single slot, contains tea, cups and self-heating-kettle for eight.

9. Magnifying Glass. Don’t look into portals with it!

10. Portal-Finder’s Pamphlet. Contains the locations of portals to three random planes. There’s a 2-in-6 chance that the portals are now gone, or were never there in the first place.

11. Flintlock Pistol. A light gun, for when you’re all out of spells. Comes with 20 bullets and a tiny powder-horn, for a total of two slots.

12. Address Book, which contains the stated addresses (probably decoys) of three Wizard Pen Pals, who you could write to in a pinch (or just to check in).

13. A Case of Dispaterian Cigars, which stink of hellfire for everyone but the smoker, who feels pleasant megalomania while smoking them.

14. Statuette of a Horse. Was, at one point, a Figurine of Power, but one of the legs broke off. It would be immoral to actually activate the poor thing.

15. Bastard Cat. Not all cats are bastards, that’s a mean stereotype. This one, however, very much is. Takes up two slots if you have to carry it.

16. Three Part Folding Wand. Newfangled! Contains 1MD and a random spell, but if you roll 6 when using it, the wand fucking explodes.

17. Chunk of Spirestone. A slot of chalky grey stone. Can’t be affected by magic. Good for chucking at other wizards’ heads, or as a paperweight.

18. 3d6 Coins from Various Planes. A mix of Hellmarks, Sigillite Crowns, Gehennan Stingers, Heavenly Merts, and a bunch of random Prime-World garbage. Only worth 3d6 in Sigil, probably worth 1d6 anywhere else.

19. Notebook of Observations. Can store a single spell, as per a tiny spellbook. Contains observations surrounding a wizardly obsession, useless to anyone else.

20. A Curio!
        1. Gold Chain, covered in Terran runes. The bearer of this chain is entitled to be rescued by Earth Elementals, for free, from any one cave-in or unwilling burial.

        2. Declaration of Angelum, the legal status of being an Angel. Works great with the Heavenly Bureaucracy, who, if presented with this document, will be forced to acknowledge you as a minor Deva.

        3. Half-Bottle of Burning Rye, boiled up by Night Hags in the farthest edge of Krangath. Makes you immune to the effects of cold, very drunk, and also flammable, until you sleep it off.

        4. A Gold Crown, specifically, the crown of a tiny Prime-Material kingdom. That was a wild night.

        5. Rilmanic Dagger, perfectly balanced light weapon, to the extent that the principle carries over to the wielder - they can’t be knocked over or otherwise lose their footing.

        6. Empty Soul Jar, perhaps previously occupied by a Lich. You’ve got no damn clue how to get a soul into it, but it could definitely hold one…  

The Forest For The Trees

 

It's always the little things
Art by Mike Beeman

I'm a university student. More specifically, I happen to be a Canadian university student, meaning I have a functional (albeit much to be desired) transit system. I have a not-so-subtle appreciation for public transit and all its boons, for even if it could be so much better at the moment, it's still good by merit of what it is. Argue all you'd like for cars and motorcycles; I think they're great! But I also believe there's an intrinsic, valuable aspect to the shared commute, never mind the question of accessibility.

I like the train station. I enjoy the benefits that come with trains and buses. Being carried away in a silver-painted storage container seems like it should put the fear of God in me, but it mostly perspirates through my mind. It's not just the system that I appreciate, though: it's the facilitation.

Just to make sure I'm using the word correctly (and to practice defining what I actually say), when I say "facilitation," I mean the effect a choice or decision in an environment has on making more decisions possible. Effectively, how the things we allow let more things happen. It's not a new concept, and it carries the sins of being used in negative connotations, but I think this particular instance is an example of the good one: how things can be better rather than worse.

I promise this'll all neatly tie together; just stay with me, okay?

I Like Trains

The train station's always busy, no matter the time of day or what kind of weather rolls into town. Be it rain or snow, monday or friday, there will always be people waiting for the train. It's a constant.

One of my favourite parts of the train station—besides the trains themselves— is the gap between the first and second set of stairs. After all, the train station is attached to a bus station, so the whole construct works a bit like a checkpoint. A broad, door-riddled hallway is down the first flight and out of the bus station. Another stairwell not too far ahead, broom closets and switchboards, and then the second flight of stairs. But in that middle space where you're forced to walk, there's a singular detail I cannot help but speak on.

A little rectangle! Printed on the floor and hugging the backsplash behind the far stairwell, there's a neat little presented space. A bit like a stage, a bit more like a glorified placemat, but generally just a quiet space. I say it's a quiet space because it isn't often used for its intended purpose, which is a shame, but I'm more interested in when it is used rather than when it isn't. 

Extravagant, beautiful little things
Artist Unknown

The square's an official installation; it wasn't put there by some random passerby or for a homeless person to sleep on. It has the local transit icon on it, and it's decorated with little drawings of music notes, violins, and saxophones. As far as I am aware, it's MEANT for musicians to set up shop, playing for their amusement or for cash. I rarely see people using the space, though, so the warmth of sound is typically replaced with yelling and dusty bootprints (and sometimes, a homeless person does decide that it looks like a comfy spot). But the other week, somebody was there! An older gentleman with a sizeable burly coat, a scraggly gray beard, and a fancy-looking wide-brimmed hat, all set up and ready to go. He had a bunch of stuff wrapped around on a push-cart, a guitar and mic stand, and even a speaker. He never said anything, just played and sang and bowed whenever someone put a dollar or two in his guitar case.

Let me tell you, I've never been so upset at not having cash on me in my life.

I don't even know who this guy was! He didn't have a sign; he never spoke beyond the covers he was singing, and I don't even think I saw him ever open his eyes. He just... performed. I probably stood in that tunnel for close to half an hour just listening to him sing. I don't know if it was the music itself or if I was just in a particular moment in my life and thereby "in my feelings", but I simply couldn't walk away. A lady walked by, gave him a dollar which he responded to with a bow, and with a smile, said to me:

"enjoy!"

Sadly, I eventually had to go to class, but by the time I returned (cash newly in hand), he had packed up his things and left. But in that brief moment of time, I think I really got to experience something special. One of the reasons why I love art at all. Not to mention one of the reasons why I think it's so important.

An Actual Explanation

Things you oft forget
Art by Rachel Altschuler

Have you ever heard the phrase "seeing the forest for the trees"?

It's a bit of a confusing idiom, but generally, it means "to be confused or distracted with minor details; to not see the whole picture", and I think it's pretty appropriate when recognizing some parts of our day-to-day life. So many parts of how we do things, no matter how lovely they are, seem to be at risk of being completely and utterly normalized with time. I don't think it's the normalization that's the problem, but moreso that feeling, that almost numbing sensation, of when something becomes completely and utterly normal. When it stops being special or surprising. 

I love music. I never really got "into" it until I was older, but it's always been at the forefront of my creativity. I listen to music to get inspiration, I listen to music while I write, and I listen to music whilst I daydream. Hell, I feel like I see music in everything sometimes! When I find a new song that resonates with me, it's something to be celebrated. A new feeling, a reminder of something I love that perhaps I'd previously forgotten, or simply a return to something old now new. But I get the same feeling as everyone: eventually, whether I'd like it to or not, a song becomes overplayed. it gets old, and even if I still love the song for what it is, how it sounds, or what it stands for, it loses a bit of that magic. 

I think life is full of those experiences, and I don't think that it's bad, but I also can't help but feel like it's a lot more dangerous than some people realize. What happens when that job stops being special, when the routine becomes dull or (god forbid) sour? I'd like to say you find things to replace that void, but it always depends on the individual, and sometimes you don't have the money (or time) to reinvest in new experiences. Some people can also enjoy something for a long time, which is great too! But what about others? What about when the time runs out? 

Part of what I like about that old idiom is that it highlights both extremes—positive or negative, you can be distracted from the greatness of what surrounds you. I don't think anybody likes monotony, to be honest, and yet many of us spend our days just going through the motions of life; devoid of expression. Of enjoyment. And that's why I think facilitation is so important. 

The Bird In The Trees

Art is such a complicated thing, but I think one of the best ways to experience it is when you don't look for it. At least not exactly. It's really easy to put yourself into boxes as early as possible, so you're only surrounded by what first made you comfortable. Those things aren't bad just because they came first, but I also don't think we should limit ourselves to what we've been "given", y'know?

It's effortless to see the forest for the trees, to only see the minutia and what's immediately in front of you, but I also think it's essential to take notice of the little things sometimes. If you just blur everything out around you and walk through the forest with no curiosity or joy or excitement—pure movement—that's not only dangerous, but it's pretty unhealthy for your mind. You have to smell the roses sometimes. You have to count branches or absorb the space around you. 

I'll call it "seeing the bird in the trees". Even if you didn't expect it, taking notice of the little, beautiful things is quite therapeutic.

That older gentleman in the subway didn't sing with perfect pitch, and he certainly didn't play each chord exactly as prescribed, but he presented to the world something that was thoroughly and utterly his own. His own expression of the world through his eyes and words and mind. I think that's an inherently human thing to do, something that really only we can do, and what's especially important to me is the effect it has.

We're all just going through life. That's a given, but when we allow ourselves to be occasionally convenienced by art, especially art that we didn't go out of our way to see, there's something special there. I don't know. Just something stuck in my mind. Food for thought.

Things you'd best not forget
Art by Jamel Akib

Making Cultures, Not Races

What Becomes Of Forgotten Knowledge?
'All Seeing' by Hector Mansilla

Culture is weird. 

I find it very hard to quantify cultural beliefs. That may be because it is flat-out impossible to boil down a complex system such as this to its foundational elements, which I don't necessarily believe, but it definitely proves challenging to imitate. The general sectioning of ideas that we call "culture" is so incredibly complex, so full of hypervariation, that even an amateur artist can handle what is effectively a bottomless chest of creativity. That difficulty seems to lie not in the department of numbers but in words. How does one form a culture? How does it come about in a way that is believable and not born from the seams of mockery?

If you do not intend to humiliate a group, 8 times out of 10, it will not be portrayed as such. I think that (far more often than some may believe) it is possible to tell whether a person is genuinely portraying a group as "bad" or "lesser" or if they are merely representing it. I also believe that you can describe a culture unfavourably even if it was not your intention, so definitely something to be aware of.

However, especially in fiction, sometimes the issue coalesces not in the portrayal of already-existent negativity but in the portrayal of culture as more than what it is. Culture is many things; it is representative of an individual's ideals, codifies a multitude of traits or features into identifiable groups, and can even serve as a microscope into more extraordinary truths. Through culture, we can identify ourselves within a community and, in turn, recognize what constitutes ourselves. 

If there is one thing that culture is not, it is race.

A Misunderstanding?

It should be stated that by no means is this a rampant issue. As more and more media has been published in film and literature, this odd contextualization of cultures as one big blob has begun to die down. Nevertheless, its presence is still felt, and some of the greatest works of our time have proven guilty of adjudicating its existence. From time to time, fantasy fiction predicates an idea that species persist off of mono-cultures—the elves and dwarves of Lord of The Rings, the Daleks of Doctor Who, and the many races of The Sword Coast in D&D—which inform their behaviour. All dwarves are trudging midgets with large beards who live deep within the earth, and all elves are ethereally beautiful aristocrats, deeply "attuned" with nature (wood elves) or snobbish of its creations (high elves), who wander the woodlands with longbows. 

This is in and of itself not a bad thing. The problem is when these ideas become assumptions of the norm rather than the individual. What comes to mind when you think of an elf? An orc? A human in fantasy fiction? A walking tree? Once these monoliths of culture become synonymous with the thing they symbolize, it becomes challenging to separate them again. Arnold Kemp over at Goblin Punch has a fantastic analysis of this problem here.  

So what can be done? If this issue holds the key to worse problems, how can we solve it? I don't know, not just because I think it still has some value but because I am looking for another solution. In designing cultures, not races, I wish to develop groups which stand against the grain of preconception. 

Of course, I'm bound to stumble and fall on the way down, and there is undoubtedly a fine line where culture and race intersect, but I see value in developing one separately from the other. Like faith, lore, and ideals, these totems can be set independently of one another, serving complimentary as a result.

Let's run through an example or two.

Art by Jessie Wu

Same Beginning, Same End

Unless you were grown in a vat or removed through cesarean (salutations, my fellow tumour babies), we were all born the same way. All human beings pop out of a womb after a couple of months, and in much the same way, we all eventually return to the earth. In this sense, we are all the same, but it is beyond this beginning and end that our differences arise. Everything from our genetic makeup to our surroundings to our cultural background differentiates us. 

In a group of a hundred people, the chance that two people share a birthday is nearly 100% (some argue that you can get >50% with as few as 23!). Imagine the fact that you share a birthday with somebody may just be the only similarity you have with them? 

Humanity as a species is ridiculously diverse. Ever since our ancestors scattered across the African continent and spread upon the rest of the world like lice, we've changed in nearly every way imaginable. Think of how many kinds of people there are, and not just in the visual sense? We have conquered entire landscapes—volcanos, canyons and island chains—for no reason other than a desire to live there. How much of your life do you think has been manipulated as a result of your living environment? Ever moved to a place that's nothing like where you grew up? Weird, huh? All aspects of our living experience—immigration examples notwithstanding—serve to teach us how to survive in that environment. Our customs, routines, and social norms act as how-to, informing us exactly how anybody stays in this place, especially the dominant majority. 

What would life be like if we all stuck around? What if humanity managed to construct a babel-esque structure, a leaning tower of pisa for communes, and we just evolved there instead? The issue with mono-cultures is that, in and of itself, the problem of settling, you cannot quell dissidents unless you first dispel free thought. An entire species living in a particular, interconnected location is bound to be made of dozens, if not hundreds, of different interacting groups of people. Sure, you can argue that it's unlikely you'll explore many of these groups in a story (or the author will simply focus only on the dominant majority), but there is absolutely value in depth. 

Ignoring questions of interracial and purely racist consequences, although intriguing and potentially significant, think of how a group can evolve only through their environment? In a tower-city surrounded by desert, how do you come about water? Is emphasis placed on the construction of aqueducts or mines? How does the every-man treat it? Is water a resource (at least somewhat) openly shared, for it is considered a necessity to all, or is it tightly regulated and/or hoarded? How do groups get around the tower, and is such transportation common? Are levels segregated?

Some of these questions may seem purely anecdotal, but they fulfill two objectives: to serve and to inform. What may be seen as "normal" to one faction may be reprehensible to another and openly preached by a third. Culture is not some magical background force that symbolizes the penultimate person; it is an evergreen, constantly changing power, which not only evolves with the group who created it but with the individual it seeds.

There's Lots More To Explore. I'll Be Back.
Art by Pieter Bruegel The Elder

 

Mind Before Matter

    Around 1440 AD, the german inventor Johannes Gutenberg introduced Europe to the sublime gift of the printing press. His own twist on the invention sent shockwaves throughout the continent, having effects potentially unknown even to him at the time. Literary skyrocketed, hierarchies shattered, and all of a sudden the educated elite found themselves privy to reading the same material as serfs, who happily flipped away at their own copy of the bible. Johannes Gutenberg changed hundreds of millions of lives in a thousand unforeseen ways, and his contributions (as well as his contemporaries in the east) have objectively changed our society for the better. 

How much information do you think a book can store? Theoretically the answer is an infinite amount, because all you would have to do is shrink the font and increase the number of pages, but how much information really is that? We consider a novel that's less than 200 pages a novella, which somehow isn't a book but is also just enough detail to be considered complete. Dictionaries are hundreds of pages of words, with definitions for those words, using the exact same terms it defines. One of the grandest pieces of literature of all time is a Super Smash Bros fanfiction. It's over 4,000,000 words long.

But knowledge is cumulative, and just because you write something doesn't mean it has any intrinsic intellectual value. A monkey with a typewriter could write all the most extraordinary works that'll ever exist, but it would have to type gibberish first. Who's going to supply all of that paper? Is there something to be salvaged in the pile of scrap? Should we make a book out of it?

Imagine this is your brain. Or maybe you're an evil zoologist.

Our brain answers these questions monotonously and with a mere (on average) 20 watts of energy. Constantly and throughout our day, like clockwork, our mind will reshuffle itself like a deck of cards. Reminders will pop up in your head, old memories from past moments will flood into consciousness, and all the while, older memories are quietly thrown out the back. Do you know what you had for breakfast this morning? Do you remember the first time you cried? 

The human brain is a fascinating organism, but it is an organ, and as far as we know, in the current state of things, these organs are limited by space. Actual evidence about how we store this information is limited. Ironically, the thing the brain knows least about is itself. But there is one nugget of truth we can know for sure: We use it. 

Our brain makes room for other memories and allows us to experience things without remembering them. We designate specific memories as more valuable than others, birthdays or important dates, until we eventually replace those memories with different ones. Diseases of the mind ravage us. By the time we die, we'll have experienced a lifetime of memories, both lost and found, and the ones we hold on to will define how we write verses of our history.

Or just be an elf; they remember everything.

Light-Weightedness, Light-Headedness

I like elves. There's a natural appreciation to be had for the concept, especially the effect they've had on popularizing fantasy and all of its variations. Tolkien had a good thing going with them; tall, swanky, perfectionist figures with fae-like features and an impeccable historical edge. But of the many crumbs of knowledge left behind in LOTR's wake, one bothers me, specifically when it is hijacked (at times incidentally) by other IPs. That crumb is memory. 

I don't hate the notion, far from it, but I hate how it is treated. Call me out for being finicky, tell me I'm picking at straws, I'll accept those taunts, but I refuse not to die on this hill. Elves in LOTR are synonymous with spirit creatures, but their relatives in TTRPG settings, such as the Forgotten Realms, do not have this benefit. They are living things with lives and expiration dates, but it's more or less assumed that with their long lifespans comes a long memory, exacerbated through trancing.

Living long does not need to be synonymous with memory. In fact, people who live a long time often forget quite a lot more. A solid majority of people suffer some form of memory loss by the time they enter their 60s.

Art by Lizzart

"Oh, but author!" you may say, running your fingers through speculative evolution textbooks, "Elves aren't human! They're an entirely different species; obviously, they won't have the same form of memory as us!" and you would be correct. That is why I argue that if your elves are disconnected entirely from human mechanics, why not explore that? If the human brain is arguably inferior in terms of raw storage space, why in the seven hells wouldn't a human being explore that beyond ethical concerns? 

I want to reiterate when I say that you do not have to do any of these things. Your story is yours; I fully support any and all approaches to the medium, including the softest soft fiction. As a representative of the H.F.F. (Hard Fiction Fans), however, I cannot help but push an alternative perspective.

Humans explore art partly because our lives are so short. Fragile and brief, we create things that will far outlive us. In a thousand years, our society will be nearly unrecognizable to us, but our novels and sculptures will surpass even the ideas which made them. Is that process lost entirely when your species remembers generations past? At what rate does a culture record history that isn't at risk of being forgotten? 

Is it only long-term memories? Can a member of that race recall ancient history as if he were there but deflect the memory of his meals like a mesh screen deflects flies? What changes can be found in their diets compared to another race? Is it specialized? Do they consume far more than other races, or are they just efficient with their energy? If I plucked two prods into their brain, could I turn on a lightbulb? For how long?

When an alien writes a novel, what words does it think will fit best?

What Makes A Brain?

Within Elkem enclaves, there is a silent understanding of the weight of one's words. Language was one of the first things taken from the Sun-Walkers when they arrived in Bromeilles, and it has cost them centuries to stitch something together resembling it. Most of those alive now were born on the cracked continent, but the population of pre-storm Elkem is still staggeringly high, an act proven to be no small feat.

It's the ears and skin texture specifically that, to me, fit the Elkem's design. You can imagine how difficult it is to do things myself when you can't draw!
Art from Ava's Demon, a webcomic by Michelle Czajkowski Fus

Elkem culture is an exceptionally compact encyclopedia. What knowledge has been lost— save for fragments—is presumed to be gone forever, but what remains on the minds and persons of its kind is ripe for the taking. Elders are revered among the colonies, comforted and protected for the secrets they have yet to share. The oldest are treated with a deistic fervour, known as Ytrl, where they become specialized in their role.

Human biology differs greatly from incursors. What few connections can be drawn are made regarding limbs and general shape, but the most confusing difference lies in the brain. An Elkem's mind is composed of three distinct lobes, the whole approximating sack more than a spheroid, with its third positioned in front of the others just below the eyes. This third lobe almost exclusively handles the processing of visual stimuli, providing the rest of the brain with the space required to perform its calculations.

Elkem physiology supports slow-acting but constant processing. While Republic-backed studies have shown a marginal decrease in quick-response proficiency compared to humans, their ability to retain and expout information is substantially improved so long as they remain un-malnourished. 

State-sanctioned expeditions to the Elkem enclaves have revealed the presence of massive tree-like growths constructed with the help of an unknown fungal biopsy. Ytrl are often found within the growths in varying degrees of entanglement, presumably fed either by hand or the growths themselves. Despite their condition, these Elkem are still capable of speech, a feat the others treat with reverence. 

Every word spoken from the shaman's mouth is frantically inscribed in an exalted process. Every bit of information, from the devout to the seemingly mundane to the incomprehensible, is stored and retained for study. The enclaves call it Yr Grullik: "The Message". 

Knowledge is sacred to the Elkem. Knowledge of any capacity, of any calibre, is a requirement for archivization and study. This is often confusing from the perspective of archivists' within The Republic, but the cultural impact is prevalent. Humans, in their brief and fragile lives, attempt to refine the details of their history to the finest grain of sand, constructing a picture of reality which lacks any bloat or redundancy. To the Elkem, everything known is already known, but the new is an act of the sublime. What is found may never be found again, nor may it ever be experienced by another living thing, and so it must be saved.

It is a violent, emotional conflict. While the archivists of The Republic dream of a return to the old world, the sculptors of the Elkem struggle to recover what remains of it.

Down the rabbit hole.
Mycelium Sun by Raya Wolfsun

The Church of Cantankerous Saints

A Quick History Lesson

When the House Constantin's short-lived monarchy finally ended, every sign of their existence was put to the torch. The people of The Republic were a proud conglomerate, always believing in an individual's freedom to live and choose, which made the idea of a "chosen class" incredibly unpopular.

Their tapestries were burned, graves were defiled into mushy crypts, silver and gold melted down into the currency of the new Republic. These were the workings of a nation beginning to heal, yet not all was lost beneath piles of molten crowns. 

The House Constantin believed in a national church with both Gods and Saints. This church was dissolved alongside the royal family, but some remnants were left sputtering with the embers required to grow interesting. The Republic had no need for Gods, but it saw value in the idea that human beings could rise above even material limitations. Thus, The Ex-Saints of Bromeilles were brought to fruition.

Churches are as much an idea as they are a place of worship
Photo from A Lady In London

 Fruition Borne Fruit

The Church of Cantankerous Saints is an organization of self-imposed ex-pats. These citizens have sworn off the trappings of The Republic and its customs, dedicating themselves to the betterment of oneself. Friar-Monks of the church often serve their entire lives within these hovels, searching within themselves for some modicum of truth in understanding the greater picture.

Or at least that's what the official motto says. It seems that most of the time, all they're doing is getting drunk and complaining about the world they only happen to be a part of.

In truth, The Church of Cantankerous Saints serves as a sort of respite for the emotionally damaged in society. A place for tortured souls and the socially adversarial, where they can tend to themselves and others like them and perhaps make sense of the world they left behind. Indeed, many friar monks never leave their monasteries, but this says more about their treatment by society than their own thoughts.

All churches follow a brief code of honour designed to keep new members close and ex-friars humble, most notably:

1. A visitor is a guest and must be cared for, but can only be brought inside if their life depends on it. Friars must go out of their way beyond the monastery, to a limit, to help those in need. You need not be happy about it.
   
   
2. You must perform some task for the sake of your friary. It may be physical, mental, or psychological, so long as you provide a service to your siblings. You are here to improve, and to improve requires one to learn new tricks.
   
   
3. All members join of their own accord. Once you join the friary, you can never leave; once you leave, you can never return. Remember to pay it back!

 Bad Gone Chaotic Neutral

Nobody is forced to join The Church of The Cantankerous Saints. Some will be pressured, others convinced, and moreso punished by law, but you can never be forced to stay. A foxhole in Corbeaux can drop you into the nearest friary at a whim, but the monks there will very clearly let you leave if persisted. Once escaping becomes an option, what reason is there to stay? Change can only arise if the individual wishes, so The Saints believe, so most newcomers opt to stay.

Once you're in the friary, there's no turning back. From this point onward, you are a new person; you adopt new hobbies and duties alongside worldly changes. Of course, you're allowed to travel outside the friary, whether to perform tasks or barter for the monastery's whole, but only so far. Escape has become a condition with a pre-requisite only attainable through change. 

Whether or not you changed can be argued among your fellow monks, but it is ultimately up to you. Your decision to leave the friary is permanent. It cannot be denied or reversed. 

Former monks of a church are still expected to send back tithe. Paying it back is just as important as paying it forward, and why not support those who did the same to you?

I imagine the churches are all very worn and very old
Picture by Trudy

♔

 

Weeping Saints

The overall mantra of The Church of Cantankerous Saints shares a similar air to that of the greek philosopher Diogenes, holding tight to his philosophy of critique and cynicism. Life and its core requirements have been muddled over centuries of hobbling, twisted and made complicated, and only through being faithful to one another can these deep social conundrums be solved. 

The teachings of Sainte-Lisabelle de Thibaud are much the same. They call her The Weeper, and her beliefs, too, rallied the causes of cynics and stoics alike. Symbols of her likeness are in most monasteries, sometimes unaffiliated ones, for her kindest lessons teach that life can not always be dark, gruelling and serious. These are lessons taken to heart, especially by the likes of the friars themselves. 

Many of the friar monks are criminals. Convicts and outlaws, refugees and misunderstood artistes, besides all manner of forgotten folk. The lifestyle many of these people left behind often already granted them a more brusque view of the world. The philosophy of The Cantankerous Saints only elevates that.

Being a member of the monastery is both physical and philosophical. A task both social and psychological. It is a place of challenging not only your own world views but the views of those around you, at certain times radically. Rosters here are less cleanly trimmed than in other organizations, meaning that all manner of individuals will eventually pop up within its walls. If you possess no desire to lose your beliefs, perhaps under a preconception that you are somehow more correct than they are, you will begin to study. You will begin to understand from studying, and from understanding, you will begin to teach. This is what schools of thought are made from and, ultimately, where societies are born.

The friars are still human, though. They quip, and they lie, and they fight. They make mistakes and they apologize after a sleepless night of passion. In their words, that is half the reason it is so effective; When the institutions are pulled back, and the strings of the machine are left bare, isn't it so much easier to learn and to fight and to love? They struggle, but they do not suffer.

In simpler words; no bullshit, no problems.